Talking about our community.

[mattbh94]

Ok, Hi guys.

I'd like to start this thread by asking: How many of you guys are sick of having to be two people at once?

Most of us, if not all of us, have to lead double lives. We have to be the person that everyone ELSE sees who's this normal guy everyone thinks only gets turned on by naked girls, or guys, or both (depending on your sexual preference), (I'm a both kinda guy).

Then there's the person that only we see that has to sneak into girlfriend's/wives closets, or into the coat room of the party or steal our mum's things, or for some daredevils the cloak room.

This is the person that has to go online and try to outbid women for a womans jacket and then feel weird about having to say "hope my girlfriend likes it" or "we're not in at the moment, so send it on such and such a date" because you don't feel right being a guy buying a woman's jacket or dress or her shoes or bra or panties or whatever.

This is the person who feels so uncomfortable we can't go into a shop because people could see us and wonder why a guy is in a girls shop. The person who has to consioucly mutter "nah, she won't like that" so if anyone hears you they'll think you're looking for something for a girl in your life and not for yourself. The person who HAS to say "I hope my girlfriend likes it" to the CASHIER because you know they're gonna look at you funny so you make a joke that an "ordinary" guy just buying something for his girl would say.

THIS, is the person who can't tell the person he loves the things he REALLY likes, because 9 times out of 10 they'll probably leave his ass. THIS is the person who has to hide everything, this is the person who would get ridiculed purely for being born a little bit differently to most other people.

How many of you guys are sick of hiding that second person?

I am.

I'm sick to death of it. I'm lucky enough that some of my closest friends know and my parents know, but my mum can't know that I buy coats to fulfil my fetish, because she'd be pissed off, she'd want to know why I'm spending money on an obsession, when in reality it's the only way I can get sexual relief at the moment.

I'm sick to death of having to trawl on Ebay every week to see if that jacket that I like is on there, so I can buy it because I can't just go into the store even on sale day and buy it. Then I'm sick to death of having to try and outbid other women for it, I'm sick to death of there not being anyone to speak to and feeling constantly, that some guy on here or another forum is going to go "HA! I was only pretending, I saw this forum and I thought I'd join to see what you sick freaks do, you lot are pathetic".

I'm sick to death of not being able to find porn for my fetish, and I'm sick to death of the fact that when I DO find it, it's bloody expensive coz it's a niche market.

I'm sick to death of being found out, I'm sick to death of actually having to break the law to get my kicks because if I don't I'd get the worse case of blue balls ever in the history of the universe.

Most of all, I'm completely sick to death of our community not being recognised. I'm sick to death of our community not being understood. I'm sick to death of a natural urge being a taboo when in reality if we're able to legally obtain clothing, legally have access to stuff, we'd not actually be hurting anyone.

I'm part of the LGBT community, and it took us years to get the recognition we deserve. I know for a fact that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being bisexual and I KNOW FOR A FACT that there's absolutely nothing wrong with having a fetish. ESPECIALLY our fetish.

All we like is satin, well, I like fur and silk and leather as well, but you get what I mean.




I think we need at the very least, a clothing retailer that caters to us, so we can have the privacy and security of mind that we need when we're buying coats. There needs to be more clothing for us, because most of us have to settle for cheap and crappy acetate when our fetish is geared to more expensive stuff. There needs to be a fashion company that makes clothes using expensive feeling or expensive looking or simply expensive fabrics that we don't feel weird about buying from, that has contrasting linings and patterened linings, that has really puffy jackets and silky jackets and soft jackets and poly lining and fur hoods and that basically doesn't stop making that stuff, because one of MY biggest problems, that I face, is that I'll see something but next season it's gone and the lining in the jackets the company made last month isn't the same as they make now, it's not as nice, then I can't buy it online coz it's not on ebay and I can't buy it in store coz it's not being made.


I bought a jacket last year that I'd been waiting maybe just under a decade for because I couldn't find it. In fact I did that numerous times last year and the year before.

I want to be able to go online and order a jacket that I KNOW for a fact has the same lining in the sleeve as it does in the body, right down to the colour and the detail. I want to be able to go online and not feel weird about it coming saying "Miss Selfridge" or something because I'm buying it from a girls clothing website and I have to now find a way of explaining it away to my housemates so they're not wondering why I'm getting something that's from a ladies clothing retailer.

I want to be able to go online and buy the type of jacket that I want or hell, even be able to customize one, so I can finally buy the type of jacket that REALLY turns me on, and I'd rather it not be so expensive that I have to rob a bank to buy it.

PLUS, I think we need a porn website that has affordable clips that actually updates regularly and is in English and caters to people with our and other fetishes.

I want girls grinding on their shoes and fucking them and talking about how expensive they are, or girls wanking with fur or destroying satin or masturbating with it. I want PROPER dirty talk and the ability to actually request a custom without it being super-expensive. I want to see guys masturbating with a girl's clothing and getting "caught" and being able to watch her plead with him not to ruin her expensive coat or dress or her prom dress.

There's simply not enough of this. There's some great porn out there but most of it is super expensive, all over the place (so you have to subscribe to 30 different sites just to cover your range) infrequent (like most of the time on Clips4Sale), in the wrong language or just simply unfindable.

We need a porn website that actually caters to all fetishes, a Clips4Sale type website (rather than -removed- which has random clips) which uses proper tags, defines it by language and country of origin, offers subtitles for other languages (so I can find out what those great girls on Tainster and Sindrive (which IS in English but not great English) are saying, has much more dirty talk, a larger ability to customise clips, is reliable, not super-expensive, is open to everyone with a fetish, isn't blocked (coz some websites get blocked by child-filters but I know that when I was younger I had trouble finding stuff that would turn me on enough. That's another problem the lack of recognition that fetish-porn is essential for people like us growing up because we need it to discover who we are and what we like and what we CAN and CAN'T and SHOULDN'T do) and saves us the hassle of having to trawl the internet for clips here and there that work for us.

These are just my ideas. So, long post but yeah, what's your guys opinions on this???

[AlanaRaso]

I appreciate your very sincere and detailed post. I think many of us can relate to your frustration and stress about living this double life. It is the double life that wears me down a bit. Some will say that this is my cross to bear, but I prefer to have fun with it.

I am very fortunate as I am married to a woman who feels "it is only clothes", so if the clothes I like are silky and feminine, it is no big deal to her. She perfers that I keep it at home. I will never pass for a female, so there is realistic no opportunity to me to freely express my girly desires in public. That being said, it does not stop me from shopping for myself. If asked, I will say, "Yes, this skirt is for me." Part of this confidence is I am a rather big guy in good shape AND I live in the San Francisco Bay Area -- where this fetish is considered very tame. I look much more like Bruce than Caitlyn, but if you take away the satins, I don't have much desire to crossdress.

What do not understand from you post is how is it illegal for you to purchase a women's jacket? I just purchased a very silky black puffer vest in women's XXL. I wear it around. I also have my satin Oakland A's starter jacket that I have worn for years. I wear Farr West charmeuse slips as undershirts and Vanity Fair panties. So I do get my fix. My wife perfers me to silk or poly silk rather than cotton. So not conflict there.

How does with work with my wife of 24 years? I try to remember how lucky I am to be with her and her open mind in this particular case. Aside from her acceptance of my kink (which she likes to tease me about - and has fun holding dresses up against me in the store), she is an awesome person and the best match for me. I work hard to be a great husband and father. My kids know about the large sized dresses and nightclothes that will never fit Mom. But that is for behind closed doors. So far, this has worked for us and hasn't caused a problem. She knows that the other woman is me.

For me, I have no fear of shopping and if someone confronts me, I will tell them the truth, "Yes, I like to wear silky women's clothing. Given the choice, wouldn't you?" This is a harmless obsession that can be turned into a positive situation to be a shared, intimate passion with your partner. Most CDs tend to be very loyal to an understanding woman, and will have much more respect for feminine rituals. I give my wife pedicures and paint her toenails. She's not going to ruin that. She has both an attentive husband and best girlfriend wrapped into one.

I consider myself to be 80% satin fetish, 20% crossdresser. A wool skirts and cotton blouses do not produce arousal. For me, I don't like to apologize or make excused for anything, so if a person has a problem selling me package of panties, that is their issue, not mine. Funny thing, no shop personal ever has. The opposite has happened, I have had sales women go out of their way to help me and invite me back to shop with them again. One time, as sales woman gave me an additional 75% off an evening gown after she found out it was for me.

I say have fun with this. I think everyone has a "dark secret." Mine is silky and comfy, it has motivated me to be loving and kind to those around me. This honesty and playful attitude is what will create positive change in society.

Back in my more self-conscious days, I was really into photography, so I needed night gowns, wedding gowns, blouses, etc as "props." My parting idea to you - try your hand at clothing design. Make this your new hobby. Most designers are male. Tell your Mom and friends that you have always been interested in fashion design and have an idea for some truly innovative fashion for men or unisex. Your purchases now will part of your "research." Make your dreams into reality. Innovate and create the life and lifestyle you want. Your dream can come true.

Happy New Year!

[satinedge]

I can't agree with you enough. Speaking from the heart, I love dresses, skirts, nightgowns, and etc... And yes some coats, pants, and etc... I am at the same thinking you are. I have to hide my identity most of the time and fake a women's name to get the garment I want. Only when I'm in another state would I dare to go in a consignment shop and actually shop BUT I'd still fake it that it's for the wife...

It would be amazing to go shopping at a direct site that caters to our fetish... oh man, or even to think about customizing an order?! So many times I've ordered dresses to find out that it doesn't have an inner liner or if it does, it's that rough acetate fabric. Meh... but if this existed, it would be on the higher end of pricing. And I really wouldn't mind as long as I knew my garment was perfect to what I want.

As for the porn, I'm actually 50/50. I haven't seen any porn with my fetish that speaks to me. It's either the girls take it off 1/4 way through or its getting pissed on. Gross. But my opinion could change if there was good quality material out there. Maybe even some REAL love making that worked slow and showed the embrace of the couple. But also, latex and bdsm or my thing too... so why not blend it baby?!!!?

But I'll calm down a bit, the only blessing in my fetish is my wife. She's been 100% from day one since I spilled the beans. Even watched me a few nights ago in my satin sleeping bag... man, how good it feels to come home and be accepted. I give her so much props, while shopping she'll take some time to eye what satin stuff is out there and even text/pic to me... Or if I'm with her, go couple satin shopping as a ploy it's for her. She's really my partner in crime!

I am very blessed and I don't talk about my situation alot but before her I can relate. I still do. And I'll back this forum and any other with the same passion I have for my satin fetish.

I love you guys and gals. Seriously. No fakes. I'm glad we are not alone in this.

[mattbh94]

Alana Raso: Yeah, what I meant was that I basically have to resort normally to using other people's clothing, because I find it so hard to obtain stuff I like.

If you follow "COAT LININGS", you'll see I've got a pretty large range of stuff, but it's never perfect, it's never what I want, I'm looking at Ted Baker stuff at the moment and their coats look amazing but they're expensive and even for an expensive retailer, the sleeve lining is different to the body. I don't overly mind coz they're expensive and the body lining is stunning but, they're the closest I've come to a perfect coat, and it's still just not right for me.

So, basically, obviously, using other people's stuff is against the law, coz it's essentially violation of privacy and sexual violation, but it's literally the only way sometimes that I get to wank with something that's really nice or current or loved, which is my main thing. The idea of violating something someone loves turns me on, as does the thrill of being possibly caught. However, with something really nice (like a Ted Baker) that looks really stylish or nice and has a nice lining and/or because it's expensive and a well known expensive high quality brand, I can manufacture that feeling, it's much like the idea of wanking with a Gucci or a D&G or a Chanel or Armani, basically, it's so forbidden to get them dirty or hurt in any way that even if you've bought it, it's very name makes your actions with it naughty; it's something that you know a woman would love and cherish and care for so you can imagine a woman being pissed at you for your actions, because it's easy to imagine.

But, without the ability to buy nice things or things that are expensive, I have to use cheap stuff. No self-respecting woman is really going to get pissed off with me ruining their £14 fake leather acetate lined cheap-ass jacket. Sure they'll be pissed at the violation but the violation isn't what gets me going, it's the pissed off reaction to WHAT I'm ruining, rather than the fact that I'm ruining it, that gets me turned on. It's the fact that I violated THAT piece of clothing, rather than just the fact that it got violated that gets me hard and horny.

So, I have to use other people's stuff to get that thrill, the thrill of doing something forbidden. It's not going to be as powerful as using an expensive piece of clothing (of which a few, I've found) but it's enough to get by at the moment.

I'd rather however, to be able to gain the stuff that REALLY works, and do it legally, and not have to worry about being found out coz it's my stuff, I don't have to worry about putting it back properly, or being sneaky and waiting for everyone to be out and out at a time when I know when they're back so I can do my deed, leave it unmarked and not have to worry about being caught.

[satinedge]

I'd rather however, to be able to gain the stuff that REALLY works, and do it legally, and not have to worry about being found out coz it's my stuff, I don't have to worry about putting it back properly, or being sneaky and waiting for everyone to be out and out at a time when I know when they're back so I can do my deed, leave it unmarked and not have to worry about being caught.

I miss the rush and the adrenaline that I had of being caught. Sneaking and getting off as quick as possible. Spreading all your love into that satin... heart pounding... hearing footsteps... mmm... it was fun. ^_^

[mattbh94]

I'd rather however, to be able to gain the stuff that REALLY works, and do it legally, and not have to worry about being found out coz it's my stuff, I don't have to worry about putting it back properly, or being sneaky and waiting for everyone to be out and out at a time when I know when they're back so I can do my deed, leave it unmarked and not have to worry about being caught.

I miss the rush and the adrenaline that I had of being caught. Sneaking and getting off as quick as possible. Spreading all your love into that satin... heart pounding... hearing footsteps... mmm... it was fun. ^_^

Ok, well I guess some people are like you, we're all different.

[AlanaRaso]

I see what you are saying, it is the thrill of the hunt & chase to secretly obtain the expensive jacket and then pleasure yourself with it. Yes, we have differences within our community. I cherish my satins and make sure all stains are removed, that they are kept clean, pressed and stored. If my wife gets a stain on her silk blouse, she hands it to me to "deal with."

[satinedge]

I'd rather however, to be able to gain the stuff that REALLY works, and do it legally, and not have to worry about being found out coz it's my stuff, I don't have to worry about putting it back properly, or being sneaky and waiting for everyone to be out and out at a time when I know when they're back so I can do my deed, leave it unmarked and not have to worry about being caught.

I miss the rush and the adrenaline that I had of being caught. Sneaking and getting off as quick as possible. Spreading all your love into that satin... heart pounding... hearing footsteps... mmm... it was fun. ^_^

Ok, well I guess some people are like you, we're all different.

AS I forgot to mention, this was in my adolescent years. Sneaking and leaving stains is something I dare not do now. It's fun to fantasize about but with my wife fueling the fire of my satin fetish, the skys the limit.

[mattbh94]

Yeah, I didn't mean that in a nasty way by the way.

[satinedge]

[satinedge]

[satinedge]

Yeah, I didn't mean that in a nasty way by the way.

Never took it that way, just wanted to add that because I did forget to mention it. lol ^_^ unless you ment getting nasty with the satin....

But seriously, where is this custom satin website? We need it and we need it now!

[mattbh94]

Yeah, I didn't mean that in a nasty way by the way.

Never took it that way, just wanted to add that because I did forget to mention it. lol ^_^ unless you ment getting nasty with the satin....

But seriously, where is this custom satin website? We need it and we need it now!

Looool. Unless you know anyone with interests in fashion who doesn't mind our fetish and has money, it's not gonna happen anytime soon.

But on a serious note, to do it, we'd need expertise, money:

First we'd have to get servers for the website, we'd need to CREATE the website, we'd need a delivery mechanism (though I'm gonna probably say MyHermes and Royal Mail) (start it in the UK), THEN, we'd need to start designing, we'd first need to just pump out generic stuff, still nice, but easily produced stuff, then we'd need to get enough to get stuff more mass produced, THEN we can start adding in customising, branch out and reach out to the world.

The biggest problem is that the reason most of the stuff we like is so expensive is because it's expensive to make. We need to find a way of having fabrics that are great for us as a community but are also cheap enough so as to not defeat the purpose of the retailer/website: i.e affordable but "good quality" (in feel if not for real) clothing that can simulate the feeling of wanking with the finest designer clothing.

We'd get there in the end but that's a project and it's DEF not one I'm ready to start, sorry but I've got other projects that are more important to me.

The Porn one's easier, because that's just recruitment of pornstars and porn companies to make clips for us, still expensive, but there's ways of starting that out. Number 1 way is for us to buy a shedload of customs and then re-sell them with a portion of the profits going towards the Star/Creator. Then, we can start hiring pornstars outright and buy more and more nice clothes and just expand from there.

So yeah, not something that's gonna be likely anytime soon loool!!! Not unless one of us wins the lottery BIGTIME!!!!