Telling girlfriend/wife about your fetish

[simonr]

As some have discussed in another thread, most of us can't and don't want to abandon our little "hobby" when we get a girlfriend/partner. So we are left with two options:

1) carry on with our fetish, but hide it from our partner
2) take the risk of blowing the relationship and tell her frankly

For me personally, I took the second route and it turned out much better than I expected. My girlfriend is very cool about it, seeing it as just a little kink that I have. She is even touched that I trust her enough to tell her something that no one else knows about. I'm really lucky that my girlfriend is very open-minded and tolerant about my kink.

My question to anyone who has told his girlfriend or who plans to tell is: how did/will you do it?

I'll get the ball rolling with my experience.

I have always known that my girlfriend is open-minded. She is well-traveled and have met many people with slightly weird interests. As part of my preparation, I once asked her about her views on homosexuality. She said that she is totally cool with it. In fact, one of her good friends is openly gay and she doesn't feel anything wrong with it. That gave me some confidence, but of course accepting a boyfriend with a fetish is a very different story than having a homosexual friend.

As for the actual action of telling her, I chose a moment right after we had lunch, so that neither of us was busy with anything and we were both relaxed. I then started with the comment that "There is a little secret I would like to share with you." After which, I proceeded to tell her that I have a deep fascination with long satin dresses and that I would sometimes put on one of these dresses to enjoy the feeling of the soft fabric. I tried to make it short, so as not to overwhelm her with information, but emphasized a few points:

1) I'm not gay. I love her and have all the normal sexual urges
2) I'm not a full-blown cross-dresser. My fetish is limited to long satin dresses and don't fancy putting on bras or heels. Neither do I have the urge to wear a dress in the public
3) I've had this fetish since I was very young and it's certainly not her fault

Judging by the result, my approach seems to have worked.

There you go, that's my story. How did you tell your girlfriend/wife?

[promdresslover]

my girlfriend is well aware of my turn-on. At first, she was a little weirded out about it. When I brought it to her attention that seeing HER in satin made me want her even more, she kind of got it. Satin enhances sexual drive. She doesn't get how I want to cum on her satin clothing, and this is the part I don't think she ever will.

But she TOTALLY gets that I get extremely aroused whenever she wears a formal dress, or even a satin blouse, or a coat with a satin lining. And she does use it to her advantage.

I say be honest about it, don't keep secrets. Any relationship is built on trust. If a girl/guy rejects you when they find out, then in my opinion, it wasn't a very solid relationship to begin with and not worth being in.

I just ordered some satin sheets for my bed, and I cannot wait for my girl to break them in. Just thinking about her nude body in layers of this seductive satin gives me wood. I will fuck her that much harder, gonna love it when she cums and gets it all over the satin. I think she will like them too!

[simonr]

I agree that it's very important to be honest with my partner. If she can't accept my fetish when I tell her, it will be even worse if she discovers it on her own. If nothing else, by opening up with her, I have the opportunity to choose when and how this side of me is revealed to her.

I also find it important to emphasize to my girlfriend that satin is just something that I enjoy a lot, much like cars and basketball, but it's definitely not gonna replace her in my heart. I guess it's easier for me in this aspect, since I don't cum on my dresses. I just touch their smooth surface and sometimes put them on.

[Aphrodite]

Hi, I know this isn't about gf or wife but I didn't want to make another thread and clog up the forum . Anyway today my mum found out about my stash of her and my own satin clothes and immediately took them back. But when she found out, she kept asking me why I had them, and I was so embarrassed that I didn't say anything. Finally she said "talk to me when you're ready ok?" And left. Now I'm just thinking about what to say and was wondering if you guys could help pls?

Thanks
-aphrodite

[simonr]

Aphrodite,

This happened to me quite early in my fetish. I just told her everything at that time. She freaked out a little and actually took me to a psychiatrist, but when it became apparent that this fetish is not going away, she eventually relented and tolerated it. I mean there are much worse hobbies to have than this...

In hindsight, I wish I had been clearer in my stance back then. I was shocked to be caught (as I assume you are now). If I could do it again, I would make it very clear to my mom (like I did to my girlfriend) that I'm not homosexual and this is just a slightly weird hobby of mine, which doesn't affect my normal activities as a man.

I believe the thought that troubled my mom the most was that my love for satin would make me uninterested in girls (which is not true at all).

I hope this can be of help to you!
Simon

[szewei85]

because i am staying single 4 2 long,,,that is what made me dive in 2 the mega satin fetish but i surely will definitely openly tell about this,,,all out no restrictions,,,once i am dating cum married 2 my eventual wife one day

[shinysatinlover]

It was easy for me but it took years and the right relationship for me to be open about it. I grew up with it being a very subversive side of me. The internet helped me a lot in the 90's and taught me I was not alone (I'd been 'into' cross-dressing and satin (and other stuff) since I was about 6 or 7) yet I was 31 when I finally 'fessed up' after plenty of relationships and 1 failed marriage, to a woman who became my 2nd Wife, and yes, we're still married!

Long story short is that it was one of the best things I ever did. I took it slowly, told her about the love for satin and then it went from there, filling in the details over a few days until after about a week or so she asked me to wear her satin cami and French knickers set for sex and the rest as they say, is history!

[simonr]

szewei85, do you find it particularly hard to get acceptance in an Asian culture. I have this feeling/prejudice that we Asians have a harder time simply because the Asian cultures are so much more conservative.

shinysatinlover, it's good to here that you have found someone who can understand your need

[szewei85]

szewei85, do you find it particularly hard to get acceptance in an Asian culture. I have this feeling/prejudice that we Asians have a harder time simply because the Asian cultures are so much more conservative.

hell yeah mang

right now,,,wages are 2 low and properties are way overpriced in asia...how on earth can the small peasants afford small apartments these days

unlike the west,,,you need 10 years 2 afford only 10% deposit while in the west,,,approx 5 years can afford full payment due 2 very high minimum wages

because of that,,,i am still staying with my parents and the only time i can heavy cum satin is when they are away 4 vacation...isnt that depressing huh

so i am already biting 4 the right timing 2 jump ship over 2 the west 2 seek new life 2 be able 2 fully enjoice the satin without any distractions and interventions

my church girl friend had already successfully jump ship over 2 australia during the start of this year...so i am thinking of jumping ship 2 canada because aussie already full of 2 much malaysians which is 2 boring 2 stay already

canada on the other hand is less malaysians and more diverse culturally with other asians origin...i am very hoping 2 score with japanese or korean or hong kong ladies one day...it will be big bonus though when i able 2 score with white ladies all the way i want 2 be one of the few men 2 do the opposite because it seems more asian girls hook with white men than the opposite dang

so yeah that is basically my story and thoughts on today oppressing conservative society which sadly will stay on 4 another 2 centuries maximum dang it

[blousecufffetish]

My lovely wife is from The Philippines... My fetish are long sleeved satin blouses. My wife never wore blouses growing up in such a hot climate.... so the idea of wearing a smart long sleeved blouse is quite alien for her... i've never told her of my fetish! Although she has lots of satin dresses so it's not all bad!! She is very conservative..part of her culture i guess. ..Mark

[simonr]

szewei, I totally agree that having our own place is very important for our fetish! My fetish didn't take off till I got my own room during my university years.

My mom caught me when I was fairly small and took me straight to the psychiatrist... So for a couple of years, I just pretended that my fetish is completely "cured", until I moved into university hostels

Now I rent a room (like you said, buying an apartment is way too expensive for a recent grad here) and can have the privacy to indulge myself sometimes

[szewei85]

szewei, I totally agree that having our own place is very important for our fetish! My fetish didn't take off till I got my own room during my university years.

My mom caught me when I was fairly small and took me straight to the psychiatrist... So for a couple of years, I just pretended that my fetish is completely "cured", until I moved into university hostels

Now I rent a room (like you said, buying an apartment is way too expensive for a recent grad here) and can have the privacy to indulge myself sometimes

haha good 4 you then